It’s better to seek acceptance than find happiness

After posting my video on depression, I’ve had some friends ask me if I’ve learned any tips on how to be happy and if I could share it with them.

(The video is embedded at the end of this post.)

I have definitely learned some ways to trick myself into happiness. And I have shared it with them. But I also felt obligated to let them know that for me, it wasn’t about learning to be happy. It was about learning to accept me for me and the world around me for what it is.

Don’t put too much emphasis on happiness

Acceptance is more important than happiness. It should be the foundation you build your life on.

The reason I am happy is because I’m at peace with myself. I am flawed, I am evil at times, I am nice, and I am awkward in uncomfortable situations.

I am many things that can be defined as either good or bad. But I know who I am.

In other words, I’m happy because I’ve accepted the imperfect me and I’m allowing myself to grow without judgment or critique.

The truth

I was depressed not because I was unhappy with life. I was depressed because I sought acceptance from everywhere but within. And when I couldn’t cope with the fact that I had to pretend to be someone else to fit in, well, that was when it all fell apart.

It’s a lot different now. Now, I’m happy when I’m sad, I’m happy when I’m angry, and I’m happy when I’m depressed.

I’m happy because I know they are a part of me. I don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed. And more importantly, I know they aren’t permanent. They pass as quickly as time and as naturally as the rhythm of my breath.

My definition of acceptance

Feel proud of your emotions my friends. Be happy with who you are before you start on your journey of improvement.

Learning acceptance is more important than learning to be happy.

Life lesson: You’ll never be happy if you cannot bear to live with yourself.

Take it from a person who went through the darkness of depression.

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